Snuggle Time

One night at dinner a while back, my father-in-law asked us all at the table whether we were more inclined to abuse grace or nullify grace. Obviously just like everyone, I have moments in both extremes, but usually lean more toward nullifying grace. I have a really hard time breaking out of my legalistic theology of do's and dont's from God. I really feel God has been trying to break me of this for all while. One of my biggest issues is time alone with God. I feel really guilty when I don't make time for quiet time, sometimes to the extreme of letting it affect my idea of God's opinion of me. Yes, the discipline of quiet time is a great thing, but I am not loved more or less by my performance.

Well, the other night while I was putting Ceilidh to sleep, I started thinking about this again. Ceilidh was having trouble laying down, and had asked me to "wok, mommy, wok" (rock)when I walked back in her room. When I sat down to rock her, she laid her head on my shoulder and tucked her arms and legs into her body so that every part of her body was being touched by me. I have to say, even after she settled down I didn't want to put her in the crib b/c I was loving her desire to be so close to me. And then it hit me. Why am I any different than Ceilidh to our heavenly father? He loves my desire to be close to him even more than my love of Ceilidh's desire. I don't have to have all the answers, or do all the "right" things. I don't want to nullify his grace anymore, he did Beyond enough on the cross....I just want to snuggle.


If I believe that he sees me like this, one of his children, co-heirs with Christ, how could he not desire closeness with me?