One more post tonight

I know I just posted but I feel like I want to post again tonight. And the last post was about a song, and this one is as well. I mentioned several weeks ago that everyone needs to leave your house now and buy Steven Curtis Chapman's "Beauty Will Rise." I am still urging that by the way! All of the songs have spoken familiarity, truth, and encouragement into my life recently; but I have been grappling with one in particular.

"Beauty Will Rise"

It was the day the world went wrong
I screamed til my voice was gone
And watched through the tears as everything
Came crashing down

Slowly panic turns to pain
As we awake to what remains
And sift through the ashes
That are left behind

But buried deep beneath
All our broken dreams we have this hope

Out of these ashes beauty will rise
And we will dance among the ruins
We will see it with our own eyes
Out of these ashes beauty will rise
For we know joy is coming in the morning
In the morning, beauty will rise

So take another breath for now
And let the tears come washing down
And if you can't believe, I will believe for you

Cause I have seen the signs of spring
Just watch and see

Out of these ashes beauty will rise
And we will dance among the ruins
We will see it with our own eyes
Out of these ashes beauty will rise
For we know joy is coming in the morning
In the morning

I can hear it in the distance
And it's not too far away
It's the music and the laughter
Of a wedding and a feast
I can almost feel the hand of God
Reaching for my face to wipe the tears away
You say it's time to make everything new
Make it all new

This is our hope
This is a promise
This is our hope
This is a promise

It will take our breath away
To see the beauty that's been made
Out of the ashes, out of the ashes

It will take our breath away
To see the beauty that He's made
Out of the ashes, out of the ashes

Out of these ashes
Beauty will rise
And we will dance among the ruins
We will see it with our own eyes
Out of this darkness
New light will shine
And we'll know the joy that's coming in the morning
In the morning
Beauty will rise

Oh, beauty will rise
Oh, oh, oh, beauty will rise
Oh, oh, oh, beauty will rise
Oh, oh, oh, beauty will rise

This concept of beauty for ashes has always been a favorite of mine; in both aspects of the beauty of the second coming (we will become new creations), as well as beauty that sometimes comes out of our earthly trials and sufferings. Shane and Shane have a pretty incredible song called "Beauty for Ashes" as well. There have been plenty of songs written about this idea; but I can't seem to quit listening to this latest one. I have never heard a more authentic cry from the heart than I do while listening to this CD. In fact, he even states in the CD jacket, that they released voice recordings from a impromptu voice session in a hotel room one night.

I can't help but wonder, where is the beauty in Kenan's death? Are we even promised tangible earthly beauty from every "pile of ashes" in our life? What has come out of that situation that I can call beauty? Learning Christ is the only thing you need or want when you hit rock bottom is definitely beauty, but I can't honestly say I live in that daily. I "head" know it all day long. I "heart" know it 98% of the time, but there are days when he isn't my one and only desire. Therefore, is that really beauty if I haven't attained that yet?

No matter whether the beauty just hasn't been seen yet, or hasn't been created yet; I'm ready for it to "take my breath away," once I find it.