"Fearless Beauty"

The "Full-time Graduate school with a family" experience has come with its ups and downs. Though I knew it would be difficult, I didn't realize it would be difficult in the areas that it has been. To quote my very wise, yet comical in her wisdom mother-in-law; "You don't know, what you don't know!" ha

All this said, my Tuesday morning young mom's bible study has been invaluable in so many ways! Ceilidh LOVES playing with her "fiends," and I really love the adult conversation as well as spiritual insight many of these women have. We are all in similar situations; stay at home moms, multiple children, many of the husbands are either in school or residencies, and we all go to church together. We have been going through the book, "Having a Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver. She has definitely become a favored author with her writing style as well as her insight. I feel like she is writing specifically to me just about every other page. This Tuesday though, we discussed the chapter entitled; A Fearless Beauty. The whole chapter was wonderful, but I got very excited about the discussion of a God desiring us to have a gentle and quiet spirit. This idea has intrigued me for many years, but if you know me at all, you know there isn't much quietness about me! ha I have really struggled with wanting this gentleness, but feeling anything but gentle in spirit.

"...Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." (1 Peter 3:3-5)

Though I know this verse is regarding the state of my heart, it was still great to be reminded that God created me and my specific personality. He isn't wanting me to change my personality, but deal with my heart issues. "God is infinitely more creative than that. He is a God of diversity and not monotony. He's much more interested in taking our personalities, tempering and taming them by His Holy Spirit, and recruiting them for work in His Kingdom than He is in churning out church-lady clones." A gentle and quiet spirit "...is a heart at rest. A mind free from anxiety." "He hadn't changed my personality. He'd changed me. He hadn't made me quiet. He'd quieted my soul." ~Joanna Weaver

I know this might seem like a random post, but I love how God is infiltrating my heart with seeds of excitement for him, even in some of my hardest days! I am praying continuously for a quieted soul.

Sidenote: So I have tons of adorable pictures on my camera right now to share with the world; but my batteries are dead. Therefore, the cutie pictures will have to wait until the next post. By the way, Baby Jack will soon be forced to arrive if nothing else; so please pray for Randy, Lauren, and Jack!

I will have pictures from a "Smoak visit," and Baby Jack (once I get the OK to share) after this weekend! Stay tuned!