Clearing the Camera

I needed to clear the camera for Graeme's birthday party pictures; and I found a few gems! Hope you enjoy!


I am so proud of her letters!


One of her first painting projects from preschool


Ceilidh and Graeme riding in the "ZIB ZIB" Airways airplane. She named the plane! ha


He can literally push her around the house without any help. Who needs blocking sleds when you have a sister and a mobile toy?! ha


She loves that they both wear "school bags" to class!


We had a picnic with Caitlin one evening!

Oh September

I have always loved September. I love that September brings in Fall; beautiful leaves, windy days, pants with a tee-shirt days, sweatshirt with shorts days, school starting (I know I'm a nerd Susanna! wink), and obviously my birthday! Which before I venture on with more September reflections; I need to shout-out a big "whoop whoop" to my "Clendenin" ladies and the AWESOME girls night I was shown last Sunday! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I had a ladies night with my mother-in-law, and four amazing sister-in-laws. I had a great time, and I am so thankful for them and how they love me. They picked me up in the party wagon, aka: Sus' new and incredible land cruiser, and off they whisked me to The Cheesecake Factory. I even got some pretty awesome gifts out of the deal! ha I really felt special ladies. Thanks again!!

But back to my thoughts on September. The last two years have really thrown a wrench in my excitement about September. Obviously, September 22, 2008 threw a wrench in our lives, not just the month. But now, every September, I have no idea HOW to feel. The last two years, I have been incredibly torn with excitement and sadness. Within 12 days of each other, we celebrate my life, honor the death of a son, and rejoice in the birth of another son. I'm wondering if I will ever not feel guilty for being excited and sad around this time? At any given moment, I feel as if I'm neglecting Graeme by being sad for Kenan; but feel as if I'm negating Kenan if I am happy. Its just a weird place to be. I really pondered what I would say about yesterday on the blog; but there really isn't much to say, other than I am very heavy-hearted. Last year, I broke down fairly often throughout the day; but this year, I have just felt an extreme heaviness. I miss him. I wanted to know him. I wanted to squeeze his little body and kiss his little cheeks.

I vividly remember sitting on the side of the hospital bed, right before we left thinking, "Ok, what do we do now?" My bleeding was minimal enough to go home the same day that we delivered, and the nurse had just come in to say we were welcome to leave when we wanted. We had no overnight bags, no baby paperwork, no car seat, no wheelchair to wheel you out to the door, no baby..... It was awkward and excruciating to leave. I was going to go home and sleep all night. I didn't have to nurse anyone. I had no baby to show off to grandparents and siblings. It felt weird, horrible, and we had no idea what to do next. This is sort of how I have been feeling during this season. Someday I will get to know him. Someday I will get to introduce him to his grandparents and family and friends who have missed him with us. I can't wait.

Thank you!

First of all, thank you for all my birthday wishes, calls, and texts yesterday! It was a wonderful day. I met my parents at the North Carolina Museum of Natural Science in the morning. Ceilidh LOVED the museum. I have been wanting to go for a while, and now I could kick myself for not going until now. We will definitely go back again soon, especially since it is free admission! ha We made it in time for Ceilidh to see the live animal show, which she thought was pretty cool. Her favorite exhibit was the walk-through aquarium, even though "the fish are dead, momma!" ha A close second was the butterfly conservatory with the live two-toed sloth. We then went to Cameron Village to get a bite to eat before mom and dad continued on to VA Beach to see my brother and his family. After Daddy got home, my sweet family took me to Champps and made me a yellow cake/chocolate icing cake. Couldn't have asked for a better day! Though it is still weird to think I am on the closer side of 30 now, I'm sure 27 will still have some great memories. In fact I know of two already; a sweet little boy turning one, and an incredible husband achieving a Masters Degree. Bring on the year 27! ha

I also need to thank UNC for providing Ceilidh with the "best day of her life" today! HA We took a stroll up to Tarheel Town this morning, and she had a BLAST! She got her face painted, slid down the huge bouncy slide, bounced in the bouncy house, and actually went through the bounce obstacle course! I was so proud of her for trying the obstacle course. I honestly didn't think she would be able to make it up the ropes course, but she shimmied up that rope like there was nothing to it! ha We continued to celebrate my bday with a little chickfila on campus after playing on the quad. As she was stuffing her mouth with nuggets, she tells me, "today was the best day of my life!" ha I hope it will always, only take a little fresh air, chickfila, and UNC campus to illicit that response from her! ha

Random sidenote: We will have a second walker ANY day now! He is SOOOO close. For my birthday, he took a VERY wobbly step and then immediately dropped down when he realized what he was doing. This two kids thing, will be yet again, a whole 'nother ball game when he starts officially walking. AHHH!

Always pondering

Tonight at the dinner table, Ceilidh was sitting really quietly looking at her cheese tortilla. All of the sudden, she breaks it into two pieces and says, "This is like Jesus' body, broken for me." Andrew and I just looked at each other, not sure whether to cry, laugh, or do both. Obviously, we encouraged in her observation and applauded for remembering this. Andrew started telling her how glad it made Jesus for her to think about him and how his body was broken like her bread. This is when Ceilidh silliness begins. She then starts flipping the tortilla over and over as she sits just looking at it. She kept flipping it until she busted out laughing. Oh that Ceilidh.... she can make you go from tears of joy (sometimes frustration) to laughter in a matter of seconds!

Note to self: Even if you have literally just finished the last page of the betrayal, death, and resurrection of Jesus and you are asked to read it again; do it. She is really listening.

Preschool pictures

Ceilidh has asked me twice a day since last Wednesday, "When do I go back to preschool, Momma?" She had such a great time meeting some of her classmates and visiting with her teachers last week! Legit school, without mommy, starts tomorrow. I have to say I held it together pretty well the whole day. I only had one weepy moment in the car, and it was only b/c I was listening to Bebo's "A Page is Turned." Unwise choice if you are wanting a tear-free day period, much less an already emotionally charged day.

We washed her hands after we walked in the door (VERY wise school rule), and headed off towards her class. She was immediately hooked as there was a water table with ducks right inside the door. How crazy is it that her class name is the Yellow Ducks, and she was obsessed with them when she was little? She painted a picture, decorated her cubby, had story time, played with toys, etc. She didn't even know I was in the room! ha After visiting with her teachers and classmates; we had milk and cookies with the directors of the preschool. It really was a great start to hopefully a great year.
















Her favorite place in the whole room! ha






















She wore her "school bag" all morning!

It's Official

Andrew and I are officially parents of a preschooler! Today was Ceilidh's first day of preschool, and she had a blast. I needed to get caught up with Labor Day pics, and now it has gotten too late to make another post. I will get Preschool pictures tomorrow, but will leave you with a sneak peek.

Labor Day Reunion

Every Labor Day, we take a reunion trip to Oak Island with some of our closest UNC friends. The men also take a few hours every trip and conduct a Fantasy Football draft. This is serious business. Friends unable to physically make the draft either webcam or call in, and time limits are set on each pick. Laptops with different scenarios depending on who picks who, are sitting around everywhere. I am so ill that my camera died right before the draft this year, so I didn't get any pictures.

Anyway, it has become an awesome tradition to get all our friends and families together and I hope we continue to do for years to come. There is always lots of hilarious conversations and fun new memories made. I wish I had gotten more pictures of everyone, but hopefully my batteries won't die next year!


On the way!




Holiday traffic... oh how fun.




























You never know what you are going get when it comes to Blake!


Or Mike, apparently! ha