Still in a little bit of disbelief

I haven't been able to stop looking at Jane's birth pictures, or stop reliving the whole experience over and over in my head. Obviously all of our children's births were incredible experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything. Even as horrible as Kenan's situation was, his delivery was actually as "beautiful" as it could have been. The staff treated us with some of the most life-affirming and tender care I have ever experienced.

Even after all my reading, personal experiences, family/friend experiences, and sold-out conviction of the midwifery model of care; I never TRULY realized that a birth like Jane's was possible. Though I am a huge advocate for midwives and natural childbirth, I do want to put out this disclaimer from the beginning. Sometimes I fear my excitement for all things L& D leads people to believe they have to defend their birthing decisions with me. NOT at all. As long as there is a safely delivered baby, and a safe mommy; all is well in the world.

Disclaimer: I do not/will never suggest that there is only one way to give birth or that certain ways are better than others. I know/respect/love many women who chose different birthing methods than myself.

Back to Jane.... ha! I was contracting every once in a while during the days leading up to Friday. They felt like the normal braxton hicks with a few interspersed that seemed to be more legit. Tuesday morning at my appointment, I was measured at 2 centimeters/ 75% effaced. By Thursday evening, I wondered if things might start happening. The contractions weren't intensifying really, but they were developing more of a patttern. I called Suzanne and told her she might want to go to bed early, just in case. Though she was as cool as a cucumber on the phone, I'm sure I sent her into "doula" mode. She and Susanna had actually practiced (yes I typed, PRACTICED) how she was going to wake Sus up if we needed them in the middle of the night! HA I love those two women.

I actually went to sleep, but woke up about 3:45ish with the contractions getting a bit more intense. They were coming every 10 minutes, and by 5am, they were coming every 7 -9 minutes. We called his parents to come on over so Suzanne could access the situation (wink), and be ready to leave when we wanted. We all sat around timing contractions, watching Fox News, laughing, and drinking coffee. Graeme decided to get up extra early (of course), but laid on Andrew's shoulder for most of the morning. He couldn't figure out why Pops and ZZ were at our house that early in the morning! ha A little after 7, (maybe 8... I wasn't too concerned with the time!) Susanna came over to watch the children for us when we left. Walking and swaying had become more helpful to me at that point, and the kids were sitting down to breakfast. I have never wanted our children to be apart of the laboring process. I was always worried it would weird them out, and I know I would be too concerned about them to stay focused. I remember though at one point thinking, "Is our home always this weird that my kids don't seem to notice me unloading the dishwasher while moaning and swaying?!" ha I guess one good thing about limited t.v. time is that when it is on, they are Z.O.N.E.D. in b/c they don't get it often! ha

I felt like we were handling things well still, but the contractions started a good pattern of every 6 -7 minutes so we decided to drive over to Sanford. I was actually VERY anxious about the car ride, but thankfully the volvo kept the road as smooth as it could be on the way. When we got to our room, I was getting more and more nervous they might send me home. Contractions are NEVER fun, but I just knew they had to get a lot worse before things got rolling. In fact, I asked my midwife to lie to me once she checked me so I wouldn't get discouraged! ha I had also asked to keep my regular clothes on so I could walk around without the hideous gown on. Peg, my midwife, checked me as soon as we got there and told me I couldn't keep my regular clothes on. I was sort of shocked and asked her why. She told me if I went walking, we wouldn't make it back to the tub before the baby was born. I was 8 centimeters and fully effaced! I laughed at her and reassured her she didn't have to really lie to me. She assured me she wasn't lying and started running the water in the tub.

At this point, I started laughing/crying. Are you kidding me?! When she opened the closet door that hides the baby warmer, I knew she was for real. I got in the tub, and the water felt WONDERFUL! My friend Nicole had labored in the tub before, and two of my sis-in-laws had delivered in the water. They all spoke highly of the experience, so I was up for anything that would relieve pain without meds. I was so relaxed and enjoying (yes, enjoying) every minute of this experience, that I think I asked Andrew and Suzanne 3 or 4 times if they really thought we were going to have a baby today! ha

I had previously talked to Peg about whether she would allow my mother-in-law to deliver Jane. Peg L.O.V.E.S. Suzanne and her doula abilities, so she heartily agreed. They have worked together with other clients at Central Carolina. In fact, she asked about Suzanne more than me at most of my appointments! ha I wish we had a picture of the look on Suzanne's face when Peg handed her the long gloves for a water birth. I think she was probably the most nervous out of anyone in the room! ha Peg told us when we arrived that we could dictate when we wanted to have the baby. She was willing to break my water that moment and deliver, or we could be patient and see what I would do on my own in the water. After an hour and a half or so, we decided to break my water. Two more contractions about 5 minutes apart, and 3 pushes later; Baby Jane was born into the hands of her grandmother! It was amazing and beautiful. The whole experience. Besides the few seconds of the "ring of fire," I can actually say I enjoyed this birth. We were talking, smiling, joking, even talking real estate at one point with Peg! HA

I could go on and on about this experience, but words will never represent how I truly feel about her birth. I am so glad I got to share this with Andrew and Suzanne four times now! We love you Baby Jame, aka Jane!