Going "home"

If you are immediate family, you can skip over this post as you already know these details.

After Life Care Pregnancy Center's annual fundraising banquet last Saturday (my last official duty), Andrew being the incredible husband he is, surprised me with a congratulatory trip to The Carolina Inn. Umm, heck yeah! Since he had Tuesday off b/c of Veteran's Day, we left Monday afternoon and stayed through Tuesday afternoon. As I was packing, I couldnt shake the feeling that this was THE trip. For those of you that dont know, Andrew and I decided to cremate Kenan's body simply b/c we didnt know where we would eventually settle. We went back and forth about what to do with his ashes, and finally decided to spread them in the only fitting place, "home." No matter where our family finally ends up, Chapel Hill will always be a place we will go "home" to often. Our love started there, he proposed there, we got married there, we met friends there that we consider family, it's a beautiful campus, our football and basketball team are awesome.... I could go on and on! haha

So, Tuesday morning we had a fun breakfast at Ye Olde Waffle and strolled Ceilidh through Polk Place. This is one of the most beautiful places on campus and also the area that I took my bridal portraits. B/c of this, we decided to pick a tree in Polk Place to spread his ashes under so that we could know an exact place for years to come.


I can't resist getting pictures with this smiley girl!


Andrew and Ceilidh at Kenan's Tree

Kenan's Tree


Though we both know that Kenan was born into the arms of the Lord and he doesnt inhabit his earthly body, it is still nice to have a place of memory for him here on earth. So next you are wandering around Polk Place, you should drop by "Kenan's Tree" and send up a hello. Everytime we talk about Kenan, Ceilidh refers to him as "Key", which makes me laugh to know that she would fit in with my group of friends who love shortening words (ie: sum and em)! ha

I'm sure I will have many posts in reference to my grief and healing process, but this was actually a GOOD day. Of course we were emotional, but I think we both felt really at peace with our decision and the Lord granted us a BEAUTIFUL day! We even got to watch the Veteran's Day procession before we left campus. Thanks for all your love and prayers over the last couple of months. They have been some of the worst and best days of my life. I have never felt more loved by Jesus, my husband, my family, my friends... but even with this outpouring of love, my heart aches for Kenan everyday. I dont think this ache will ever go away. Lessen probably, but never dissipate. We have two children; only one is waiting in Heaven for us which makes me long for Heaven even more.