The "rina" party

I don't know who had more fun yesterday; Ceilidh dancing around at her party, or me watching her love every minute of being center of attention! ha Andrew said she talked his head off the entire way to the studio about what we were going to do at the party, who was going to be there, where her cake was, etc. It was really sweet to watch her excitement. I have to give major kudos to my talented husband for his unbelievable ballet shoes cake. Last year I baked and he iced. But this year he did everything, and even with me doubting his free-hand drawing ability to make her cake, he did it! Thanks to all of you who sent b-day wishes!

Mid-day Birthday Post

So I have already helped put on two baby dance concerts in the theatre this morning, and I am now sitting at the dance studio waiting for MY ballerina to start her birthday party. I have a few minutes so I thought I would blog a mid-day post about my baby being 2. I really can not believe it has been two years since my doctor looked at me and said, "Cyndy, you are at 5 centimeters/ 80% effaced; lets have a baby today." That comment changed Andrew's and my life forever.

I can't imagine waking up every morning without seeing her adorable face pop over her crib and say, "Hi, mommy! Eat!" (That is the Smoak coming out in her. We like to eat in my family! ha) Though she knows what she wants, when she wants it; she is the sweetest little girl I know. Yesterday while we were decorating for her party, she literally told me, "Sank you mommy, sank you for my party stuff." All I could do was say your welcome, shed a small tear, and thank Jesus for the little girl she is growing up to be. After each balloon I blew up, she would clap and scream, "YAY!!" I LOVE how full of life she is. And though I am sad to see her baby years slowly, and yet not so slowly, slip away; I love seeing her develop into the beautiful and vivacious little girl she is.

I will have pictures of her "rina" (ballerina) birthday party, pink cake, and party hats later. We had pretty specific orders this year from little Miss!

God of this City

Carthage is by no means a huge metropolis, in fact it is nothing more than a dried up town with interesting historical roots and a few quality local restaurants. There are no bars, music venues, movie theaters, or malls. If you live here it is probably because you have a good reason to be here. I don't think many people stumble across Carthage on a map and decide to move in. However, I would not trade one day I have lived in this "sleepy Southern town". It has truly been an experience, and an incredible blessing for Cyndy and me to start our married lives in this community. I am sure Cyndy thought I was crazy when I told her I was moving back to Moore County after graduating from UNC, and was probably not far away from breaking the engagement and calling off the wedding when I bought our house in Carthage. But even she has grown to love "Sweet Carthage", a nickname given to our town by local businesses.

Even with the absence of many "perks" others may enjoy in larger towns and cities, one thing Carthage can still boast is a sense of community. If you drive down McReynolds St. you will still see white ribbons hanging from nearly every business or store front expressing solidarity as our town continues to heal from the nursing home massacre. If you walk down our street, you will more than likely be greated by Rev. and Mrs. Graham working in their yard, or another Graham (Al) will stop and talk on his way to meet friends for breakfast, lunch, or dinner (I am pretty sure he goes out for every meal). There are a few experiences that stick out in my mind about the people here that I will not forget. Like when Ceilidh was born and a family friend was thoughtful enough to bring by a pink ribbon for the front door, or when Kenan died and three days later I was studying for the GRE at the local coffee shop and out of the blue a couple eating there expressed there sympathy.

You are probably wondering where I am going with this post, and how it is connected to the video I embeded. To start, as we leave Carthage I truly believe God has a plan for this town, as he does all other towns that dot the map. Second, the story Aaron Boyd shares in this video is inspiration to me that it is time to move on and obtain a degree that can hopefully be used to further God's plans for humanity. There are hearts breaking everwhere, in every home, in every city. There are children that are abandoned, abused, neglected, sold into slavery, forced to fight wars they are too innocent to understand. As Aaron says, we are the Church, it is time to be the Church.

I do not know where God will direct us in the future, honestly He could place us right back in good ole Moore County. Something I would not be opposed to. Either way, as we venture out in less than two months to Chapel Hill, we can go in cofidence knowing that He is the God of Carthage, Chapel Hill, and any other place our lives will take us. Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done.

--Andrew

We Remember

Yesterday was Memorial Day. Memorial Day and Veterans Day have always meant more to me than just a day out of school or a day off work. I'm sure growing up with a Marine Corps Master Sergeant that medically speaking probably should never have come home from Vietnam, has influenced the value I place on all things military; especially the men and women who serve. And though I didn't marry the military (and yes the last pun is for mom and Nesh!wink), I did marry a man that places that same value on our service men and women; and I am thankful for that. I hope that someday our children will also realize the sacrifice these soldiers make for us and our country.

Yesterday, we took Ceilidh to Carthage's Memorial Day Service where they had a flyover of WWI planes. Ceilidh LOVED it! When I see our armed service uniforms, or hear the Star Spangled Banner, or Taps, or a 21 gun-salute; I feel proud of my country and I feel proud to be the daughter of Thomas Lee Smoak, Jr. Thank you to those who laid down their lives for America as well as the families that had/have to carry on without their loved ones.

Yay for a good day

So we are officially "under contract!" Papers were signed this evening, and now we have to make it through home inspection and we should be good to go. We had a really good day. I got the phone call this afternoon about the house, I took a nap (I really haven't taken a nap since Ceilidh was born), we celebrated a cousin's graduation with family and really good food, as well as I found out I can be publicly excited about Kristen's pregnancy now!!!

Most of you who read our blog already know about this baby, but it is still fun to talk about it openly! We are very excited for you Jared and Kristen, and I am already stating that it is a girl. wink It is really fun to go through pregnancy with a sister-in-law and a "cousin-in-law"/friend at the same time.

Even having such a good day though, it is weird how I can miss Kenan on days like this. I really struggled this week with almost a depressed sort of state. I didn't feel like I really had any emotion. Since September 22, 2008; we have had something on the horizon that we were waiting on. We were anxiously awaiting getting pregnant again, then we were waiting on his graduate school acceptance, and until this week we have been waiting on the house to sale. I know that our "change" has really just begun for 2009; but the "unknown" has pretty much all played out and now it is time to live it all. I write all this wondering if this week has been weird for me, b/c I have allowed my mind to rest a bit. My "what if this happens," "what if this doesn't happen," questions have been answered. We were able to get pregnant again and everything to this point has gone really smoothly, Andrew got into school, and our house barring any inspection issues has been sold.

There isn't anything else to distract my wandering thoughts about Kenan now. Not that I didn't think about him everyday for the last eight months, but now there is no competition for my dwellings. Why? Why us? What is the medical reasoning for his heart stopping? Was he in pain? Would earlier prenatals have prevented this? How do you miss someone so much that you never really met? Would he have looked like Andrew? Would he have loved football? How do I stay real with my pain, but not miss out on the joys in front of me? Why do we have to live the rest of our lives with someone missing from our "family photos?" Why do I feel so alone in my hurt when I personally know so many other mothers who have experienced these same feelings? When do these thoughts subside?

The list could go on. Even though I counseled girls everyday for two and a half years that there is no "correct" way to be feeling and there is no "correct" time frame to experience these emotions; I still have this deep desire to do everything the "right" way. That is another whole issue of mine, for another post.

Well, I am just rambling at this point so I should stop. I will end this post by saying I am beyond blessed and thankful for God's faithfulness; and hope that he will continue to recreate me for himself.

Great is Thy Faithfulness!

This whole morning I have had "Great is Thy Faithfulness" stuck in my head. We have been back and forth, back and forth for the last 2 days with the potential buyers for the house; and this afternoon we have settled on an agreement!!! I am so thankful for God's faithfulness, and now I know why it has been stuck in my head. We are getting all the signatures where they need to be to be officially "under contract!" Thank you for your prayers through this process, but keep them coming. We have to get through the home inspection before I will breathe my second sigh of relief (1st sigh: offer 2nd sigh: home inspection 3rd sigh: closing). His mercies are new every morning!!!

Negotiations have begun

As of 9:30pm last night, the negotiation process has begun. PLEASE by in sincere prayer about using Godly wisdom through this process. Andrew keeps telling me I am in a "funk" b/c I am so anxious about everything. I know I have nothing to be anxious about; I mean come on, he worked it out perfectly this far. Why wouldn't he continue to? I am just trying to deal with the nerves of the unknowns; will they accept our counter?, will the inspection go well?, how long will it take them to get back with us?, etc.

We are also showing the house twice this morning, so who knows what that might through in the mix! AHH So again, please pray for wisdom as well as peace through this process for all parties involved. THANKS!

Happy 4th Anniversary Andrew!

Four years! Andrew and I have been married for four years today! I can't believe it. This time four years ago, I was trying to stay calm waiting on my hairdresser who was an hour and a half late showing up to do my hair. I think after an hour of waiting, I finally crumbled into tears as Summer and Amanda literally were leafing through the phonebook trying to book an emergency hairstylist! They were amazing friends that day. After my stylist finally showed, she told me she overslept. I'm sorry, but this is one of the biggest days of my life and I have already paid you a lot of money for practice runs; I don't care what you did last night- be here on time!

With that being really the only glitch in the whole day, I would have to say it was a pretty perfect day! Andrew told me this morning he would, "do it all over again." SMILE I love being loved and loving him. We have had lots of things, good and bad, happen during our marriage; but God is faithful to us individually as well as to our relationship. Thank you Jesus and thank you Andrew for being obedient! I love you!

Piper on Obama and Abortion

Too "coot" not to share

This morning I put spring'esque' clothes on Ceilidh and commented how cute she looked. I told her I wanted to take her picture and of course, in true Ceilidh fashion, she wanted to see the picture on the camera after I took it. She looked at the screen and said, "Look at that cootie!" HAHA So maybe I should scale back my admonitions so my child doesn't grow up vain, but I love that she says "coot" for cute. We will let you decide if you are too biased!

Missing Zi i

So last week was our last week having morning playdates with Zion. It had to happen at some point, but we are still sad to see it come. She gets up every morning and asks for a cup of milk, talk/see Daddy (sometimes he has already left by the time she gets up), and to watch a "show" while she waits for "Zi i." I have been trying to explain to her this week that he won't be coming over everyday, but she still isn't quite understanding. This morning I told her that I would call and maybe we could go see Zion sometime this week and she told me, "Call Mommy, call, now, get phone!" HA Usually we would have a talk about being demanding at this point, but it was so sweet that all I could do was laugh.

Missing "Zi i" is just one of the many things I am worried about concerning our move. I know how much of a transition this is going to be for her, and I also know I have no clue as to how much of a transition this will be. Please pray for all of us, but especially her, preparing us for all the change in the next couple of months. I am already proud of the little one she has become, and I can't wait to see how much more she will become her own little person in the coming months!

Getting closer to Tripps!!!

So today went really well with the potential buyers apparently, and they have stated they are making an offer early this coming week. Obviously the offer is not in yet, we have not negotiated anything, and we have not closed in front of a lawyer; but we are really encouraged! Praise God for his faithfulness and incredibly designed plan for our lives. The couple has already said they don't want to close until mid-July which is perfect for us. Please continue to pray for this process; wisdom for us as this is the first time we have sold a home, and for the diligence to be obedient to what God wants for us. We will keep you updated!

Prayer requests tonight

I have two specific requests tonight. We had a potential buyer seeing the house for a second time today, and after they left, they asked for a third showing for a family member tomorrow. Their search has come down between our house and another, so I am just asking that you pray that the Lord would give our house favor tomorrow; and as Susanna prayed last night, that our house would seem like a home to them when they walk in. He already knows when our house is going to sell, but this would be just like him to work everything out so that we only have to move once.

Secondly, we found out today that acquaintances of Andrew in college had to deliver her twin sons somewhere around 7 weeks early b/c one twin had no heartbeat during a regular appt the day before. The surviving twin is early, but their blog said his lungs were doing well. I really don't want to sensationalize anything, but obviously this hits home hard. I can't imagine rejoicing over birth of one son, and grieving the loss of another son. Just pray for their hearts, faith, and their surviving son.

Thanks for your sincere prayers.

Two year old ups and downs

Ceilidh and Zion are both getting funnier by the day.... and somedays more difficult by the minute! ha Today was a great behavior day, but a hard physical day. My poor baby has pink eye and she is miserable. The doctor prescribed these really new high tech drops that supposedly would clear her up in 3 hours. It has been 10 and she is still hurting and rubbing. frown I think my poor children are destined to have chronic pink eye b/c I did as a child. I mean seriously. If someone across the street that had pink eye looked at me, the next morning I couldn't see through the gunk that mattes your eye shut. Hopefully after the 7 days of drops she will be better. One cool thing about going to the doctor though was I found out she weighs 24.9 pounds and is 33" tall. I have been wondering for a while now if she had broken the 25 pound mark. Almost! ha

I LOVE our warmer weather and I think Ceilidh and Zion do as well. We have been able to visit the playground more, paint outside, play with sidewalk chalk, etc. The other day she told me "sun bight, mommy" so we decided to go get sunglasses. They thought they were REALLY cool. We also have dance parties which they love. The literally will run to my bedroom screaming "dance paty, dance paty!" Ceilidh knows how to use our CD player remote as well! ha

We have the Internet back! Woohoo

About two weeks ago, our power cord died AGAIN for the THIRD time this year! UGH Today though, the mailwoman made my day when she arrived with the fourth power cord of the year. A lot has happened in the last two weeks. More than I can possibly blog about so I will just highlight.

Most importantly and sadly, Grandma Hazel, Andrew's paternal grandmother died last Tuesday. It has been a really weird week. Andrew and I both have commented several times how we feel like we have gone through all the funeral events, but we still feel like we are going to go eat lunch with her next week. It hasn't really sunken in yet. I personally have been really upset about her death, but then I feel weird b/c I feel like I don't have a "right" to mourn her like Andrew, as I wasn't her actual grandchild. That is the thing with Grandma though. I never felt like I wasn't a grandchild. I never knew my grandparents, except one, and I only saw her twice a year at best. Grandma and I would talk on the phone sometimes, Ceilidh and I would go see her through the day, and she loved me and I know it. Whether it feels weird or not, I am missing her... quirks and all.





Thankfully, everything is going smoothly with Baby Boy Clendenin's pregnancy. My belly is definitely getting bigger. I am 20 weeks pregnant, 21 weeks pregnant on Monday.

Day 10/ Day 9

Andrew felt Baby Boy Clendenin move yesterday for the first time!! Ceilidh would get riled up around 7:30 every night in the womb; but this baby is taking more after the Clendenin late night goers and getting started around 9:30pm. The pregnancy gets even more exciting when Andrew can start experiencing it with me!

Day 10:

This is another weird "thankful" post, but I am currently watching a "Baby Story" (of course, right?! ha), and I am realizing how thankful I am that Andrew is such a great labor partner. Even though he had never been a labor partner, he knew when to say something, and when it keep his mouth shut. (Thanks Suzanne for coaching him! wink) This guy on the t.v. would have been punched like 5 times if I was his wife. Ok, so that is drastic, but we would have had some serious conversations that probably wouldn't have been conducted in a loving manner! Andrew will tell me when I am being dramatic, but he also knows when to leave me alone as well. Thank you for your sensitivity!

Day 9:

Andrew started his last month of his teaching career today. I am proud of you for sticking it out the last 5 years!!! I see the impact you have made every time one of your students screams "Hi Mr. C!" across the grocery store, hugs and handshakes from graduated students at Walmart, students coming to our front door looking to thank you!, and the boys with big goofy teenage grins (but still trying to be cool) walking out of the locker room on a Friday night. I love you!