Tonight as I was rocking Jane to sleep; I started weeping thinking about how fast Ceilidh went from Jane's age to being a kindergartener in less than a year. Every year seems to get faster and faster. We are a week away from Thanksgiving and a month and a half from Christmas! After that, hello 2012.
Today as Graeme and Ceilidh both hit milestones, this realization became even more evident. G-man can now pedal his tricycle all by himself! He has been able to pedal for a while, but the instant I would stop pushing him, he would quit moving. Today he figured out how to start pedaling and continue without any help at all. He was SO proud of himself. He can't quite keep up with Ceilidh and Adriana which is a bit frustrating to him, but he is getting there! He also can put his shoes on without help. Grant it, his "boots" don't have shoe laces, but I am impressed with the fact that he can get them on and they are usually on the correct feet!
Not only is Graeme making strides, but Ceilidh conquered the "monkey bar drop" today at the playground. She has really been wanting to cross the monkey bars for a while now, but today decided she wanted to drop all by herself. I can totally remember doing this same thing over and over on my elementary school playground. I even could empathize with the fear/excitement/determination I could see welling up in her as she stood on the platform looking at the bars. She tried several times before she mustered the courage to actually drop. Once she did it, she loved it. That is until she took quite a tumble which elicited a tearful, "Maybe I should wait until I'm 5 to drop." ha
I have recently felt a real "comfortableness" in being a mother. This is sad that it has taken 4 years to get there (ha), but I am excited to have a sort of relaxation in my role as mother. I have no idea what has changed, but I feel as if I am worrying less and enjoying them more. Don't get me wrong. I have ALWAYS loved being their mommy, but I also lived in a constant state of internal anxiety. I was (and can be still at times) constantly worried about what they were eating, their sleeping habits, their t.v. time, their outside time, etc... It is exhausting just to THINK about everything I would/do get caught up worrying about.
But as I was rocking Jane and reflecting on everything that happened today, I realized how much I am enjoying watching and participating in their evolution from helpless babes to crazy, lovable, smart, and energetic children. Children with their own thoughts and opinions. Children with their own moods and personalities. I pray that this comfortableness continues so I don't miss out on these days that are flying by!
